Settling The Score
by spazzyd
Summary: Teal'c has a bit of a score to settle.


Summary: Uninvited Tag - As the team enjoys a night in at Daniel's, Teal'c decides that it's time to make up for his losses a few weeks ago.

Season: Ten

Episode Spoilers: Uninvited

Pairings: relatively mild S/J

"That's it. That's it! I can't play with you two anymore!" Cameron exclaimed as he crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.

"Whatever could be wrong, colonel?" Vala asked sweetly as she began to shuffle the cards once more. That was the sixth time in a row that Cameron had lost his meager fortunes, only this time Sam had come away as the winner – her third time that evening.

"You guys are cheating, and I don't play with cheaters," Cameron replied crossly. "Enough is enough."

"Oh, don't be such a poor sport, Cam," Sam muttered as she idly counted her chips, her lips quirking in the faintest hint of a smile. Yes, it was very entertaining to rile Cameron from time to time, she decided. He'd done it to her for years, so it was definitely sweet revenge.

In the corner of the room, Daniel sat at the couch as he went over his notes from England. Teal'c had been silent most of the evening as well – he had not played poker opposite Sam since SG-1's trip to Jack's cabin three weeks ago. She'd nearly beat him out of all of his chips that day. However, no one (despite Daniel's interest in his findings and Teal'c's interest in his movie) could escape Cameron's annoyed yelling now.

Feigning ignorance, Daniel glanced up at Cameron just as he was regaining his second wind. "I thought you liked this game, Mitchell. What's wrong?"

"Yeah, Cam, what's wrong?" Sam asked, the tinge of mockery in her voice unmistakable.

"You guys are counting cards!" Cameron cried. "They're counting cards, Jackson. Both

of them. It's not fair."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sam replied, "and I resent the implication that I was cheating."

"That's right!" Vala agreed. "Me, too! I resent it, too!"

Though she fully expected the glares from everyone in the room, she was completely surprised by the way no one hesitated to roll their eyes.

"What?" she asked in mock-surprise. "You don't think I could win on my own merit and smarts? You think I'd actually have to cheat to win?"

"No," Sam responded with a grin. "Cameron just hates to lose… And when he does, he evidently becomes a tad irrational. Oh, and he can't help but continue to bet big – even when the odds are obviously against him."

"Ah." Vala nodded, completely understanding that dead-on assessment. Cameron did have a habit of overcompensating sometimes, she'd decided long ago, though he tended to have a legitimate reason for his fervor.

Besides, she could relate to his enthusiasm. There was something about SG-1, and all that it stood for, that infused such energy and life into each day. She'd often wondered if she'd ever find her place in this universe, and she couldn't be happier to find that her place just might forever be amongst these rather quirky people.

"I've gotta say," Cameron drawled, "normally people find those to be rather endearing traits."

"Uh huh." Sam wasn't convinced. She remembered well the days at the academy, when Cam was what the kids nowadays call a "player." He could smooth-talk his way out of any jam and into any girl's quarters, but she'd never bought into it. She didn't buy it then, and she certainly didn't but it now. She found Cameron to be more of a cousin than anything, though she did find his antics amusing.

"You know, Mitchell, it's alright to call it quits when you're getting your butt kicked," Daniel deadpanned. "No one will think any less of you."

Cameron's scoff reverberated off of the apartment walls, and his scowl deepened. "I can't help but feel that I'm being mocked here."

Vala shook her head ardently as she dealt the next hand. "Not so much mocked, Cameron, as... well, OK, it is mockery. All around."

"Aha!" Cameron cried as his finger shot out in Vala's direction. "So you are counting cards! I should've known not to buy into either of your tactics earlier."

"So you're saying that you underestimated both of us?" Vala inquired with another shake of her head, picking up four more chips and placing them in the middle of the table. "I raise… And I would've thought you knew better than that."

"Completely foolish," Sam chimed in with that same mischievous grin that made Teal'c smile to himself. Placing six more chips in the middle, she turned to him. "Isn't that right, Teal'c?"

"Indeed," Teal'c responded, one eye still glued to Daniel's 27-inch screen as the final scene ended. "Though I have decided that the time has come for me to seek my revenge."

This sudden activity from Teal'c peaked Daniel's interest. "Revenge?" After exchanging glances between Vala and Sam, which earned him two unexpectedly feminine giggles, Daniel frowned and craned his neck around to steal a glance at Teal'c.

"Yes." Teal'c stood and stretched slightly as he crossed the room to the dining room table, before turning back to face Daniel. "I believe I have a score to settle."

"Ooh," Vala crowed at Sam. "That sounds like yet another challenge. And I fold, by the way."

Cameron rolled his eyes, but couldn't help the grin that made its way to his lips as he folded as well. That was four for Sam so far. "I'd actually like to see how a game between the three of you would turn out."

"I can't say I disagree," Daniel added as he set his notebook down beside him and stood up to join them. "This could turn out to be very revealing."

Sam had yet to say a word. She'd been keeping a careful eye on Teal'c all night, anticipating his very move. However there was something about Teal'c's demeanor that just screamed that he had something else up his sleeve.

"I have decided that the 'ante' is in need of upping," Teal'c announced with a twinkle in his eye, eliciting a groan from Cameron and a chuckle from Daniel and Sam.

"Ooh, even better," Vala rejoined.

"What's the catch?" Sam finally asked, her eyes belaying her weariness.

Teal'c turned to her then, his grin growing with each passing moment that Sam squirmed. "I have learned of yet another version of poker that is played during gatherings such as this." He waited then, opting to hold everyone in suspense for a moment longer.

"Teal'c…" Cameron looked concerned, but he had yet to see where Teal'c was going with this.

Vala glanced from Cameron to Sam to Daniel and back to Sam, before she finally turned back to Teal'c. "Another version of poker exists? What are the rules for this version?"

Daniel's mind was working overtime when it hit him. Just as he turned to Sam, his eyes wide with dread and shock, he saw that she was already standing up, her hand on her furrowed brows as she headed to the kitchen.

"Sam?" Cameron asked. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, I don't know about anyone else," Sam began, "but I think I'm going to need a hell of a lot more alcohol, if I have even a prayer of participating in Teal'c's version of poker." With that, Sam disappeared into the kitchen, and Daniel hoped she would be coming back with enough for everyone. They were all going to need it.

"OK, you got me," Cameron declared after a bout of confused silence. "I have no idea what's going on."

"Yes, I'm absolutely stumped as well," Vala decided, turning once more to Teal'c. "Do the rules in this new game of poker require mass quantities of alcohol?"

"Yes," Sam answered for him as she came back with two bottles of Schnapp's and four glasses. "Tell 'em, Teal'c. They deserve to know now before the circumstances get any worse."

"Yes, do tell, Teal'c," Vala inquired.

"This new game of poker requires nothing more than the clothes you are wearing," Teal'c explained enigmatically. Letting that sink in, he grinned like a madman. Both Sam and Daniel found themselves staring at him then, wondering why the hell he was so damn jovial. This was so not going to end well at all, they silently decided with a quick glance.

"Oh!" Cameron cried suddenly, as it finally hit him. "Oh! Man! Are you serious, Teal'c? Strip poker? Really?!"

"Strip poker," Vala repeated, still confused. "I don't understand."

Unconsciously, all eyes turned to Daniel to explain this new cultural reference to Vala. "Oh great," he muttered as he adjusted his glasses. "Just. Great."

"Daniel," Vala sang, "I'm waiting."

"Well," Daniel began as he cleared the table of the chips so Sam could set the glasses in front of everyone, "the chips are unnecessary, since you'll be betting with… items… of clothing."

"Oh, like from a catalog!" Vala asked, prompting Daniel to shoot a helpless look in Teal'c's direction.

"No," Teal'c said flatly. "You will not be betting FOR items of clothing. Your own attire will be used as bargaining chips throughout the game. If you are inept in your strategy, as is Colonel Mitchell, you will be left with nothing but your undergarments… if that."

Sam was deliberately on her way to being quite buzzed by the time Teal'c was finished with his explanation, so the look on Vala's face upon hearing the rules for the new game was especially amusing. From shock to horror to amusement, Vala's expression was a myriad of emotions.

"What a delightfully demeaning and perverted game!" Vala finally exclaimed. "My, you Tau'ri never cease to amaze me with your innate abilities to twist mere competitions into even more disturbing contests."

"Hey, hey, hey now," Cameron replied. "This is about as racy as it gets around here."

"No, no, don't misunderstand," Vala said. "I like it. Quite frankly, I never knew you had it in you."

"Nor did I," Teal'c agreed in amusement.

"Well," Daniel said with a shrug, "on that note, let's get started before someone changes their mind."

This time, all eyes fell upon Sam.

"What?" she demanded indignantly, taking a swig from her glass. "I've come to terms with it." She paused then, and couldn't help but smirk. "Besides, the most I'll probably lose is a sock or two. It's the rest of you I'm worried about."

"I love it when she displays just a touch of arrogance," Vala cracked cheekily, dealing the cards as she went along.

"I'm just noting the amount of eye candy at my disposal this evening," Sam replied.

Vala looked around and shrugged. "Well, they're no Jack O'Neill, are they?"

Sam shot Vala a look and smiled evilly. "No. But we don't want to give them a complex, now do we?"

"No, no, of course not," Vala concurred as she cleared her throat and allowed her gaze to fall on Daniel and Teal'c. "You know, I've never been a woman of wandering eyes anyway." Daniel quite nearly choked, and Teal'c smiled – a little too broadly in Daniel's opinion.

"Ante!" Cameron nearly shouted as he took off his left sneaker and placed it in the middle. Everyone soon followed until there were five shoes in the middle of the table.

"I do believe this is about to get very messy," Vala noted as Sam eyed Teal'c.

"That was indeed my intention," Teal'c admitted as he shamelessly took off his other shoe and T-shirt. "For it is my belief that Colonel Carter's modesty will be her ultimate downfall in this game."

"Another open challenge, Teal'c?" Sam clarified, eyebrow raised.

"Oh boy," Cameron and Daniel muttered in tandem. Teal'c merely grinned smugly. And Sam, not to be outdone, began unbuttoning her shirt (slowly) as she eyed Teal'c at her side.

"I must say that you two possess a very well-hidden competitive streak behind those calm personas," Vala observed.

"Very well-hidden," Cameron agreed.

"Yeah… Not so much," Daniel replied as Sam placed her shirt and shoe in the pile, before he added his own articles. "You've never seen them play chess."

"Chess?" Vala asked. "I've heard of it, but I've never played. Could you teach me tonight?"

"Ah!" Cameron cried. "No chess this evening. No chess this weekend. Or ever."

"Don't worry," Sam assured. "Daniel said we're not allowed to play chess at his place ever again."

"Unless?" Daniel prompted.

"Unless Jack is moderating," Sam finished bitterly. "But he refuses to do that anymore."

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred. "It is a shame." If Vala didn't know any better, she could've sworn he sounded bitter, too.

"Ah, come on, Sam," Vala intoned. "Surely you could convince him to moderate the next time he comes to the SGC."

"I could," Sam admitted thoughtfully, "but it'll probably require a sacrifice of some kind."

"Oh, really?" Vala beamed. "What kind of sacrifice?"

"I'm not at liberty to say," Sam answered with a smirk. "Suffice it to say, it probably won't be much of a sacrifice."

"Ah ha!" Still smiling from ear to ear at the exchange (she'd been trying for WEEKS to get Sam to open up about that man, and who knew a little alcohol could do the trick?), Vala turned her attention to the boys. Daniel and Teal'c looked decidedly uncomfortable – as in, they looked a bit green at the thought – and Cameron looked perturbed.

"Wow…" was all he could muster at that. Daniel and Teal'c remained awkwardly silent.

To say they'd never heard Sam be so upfront with "The Relationship," as the three of them had called it, was an understatement. After nearly a year of curiosity and concern, it would seem that they all would've preferred to keep that particular aspect of it a secret. Sam mildly acknowledged that for future reference, but for the moment she was unrepentant.

"Oh, Cameron." Vala chuckled at his hemming and hawing. "I never took you for such a prude."

Cameron scoffed for the umpteenth time that evening and folded - and was met with expectant glances.

"What?" he asked the table. "I really don't want to be left in my birthday suit when it's all said and done."

"Uh," Daniel snickered, "I hate to break it to you, but you're probably going to be left with that anyway."

More giggling from Sam and Vala, and a mega-grin from Teal'c. Cameron sighed.

"You know, Jackson, I can't believe you don't have a Playstation."

"Sorry," Daniel apologized weakly. "And I fold."

"Well, why don't you?" Cameron pressed.

"He's not very good at it," Sam stage-whispered with a chortle.

"Oh?" Vala laughed as well.

"Hey!" Daniel cried. "It's not that I'm not good at it. I just have better things to do with my time."

"Daniel Jackson does 'suck' at that particular game," Teal'c replied succinctly, and ignored the gasps of the others at the table. "But we do not berate him for that one shortcoming."

Sam chuckled again as she replayed his last statement in her head. What was it with Teal'c's vocabulary these days?

Daniel was still in shock. His mouth opened, but nothing came out for a long time. "Why, Teal'c," he said finally, "I'm… hurt. I'm… wow. I don't even know what to say."

"Your response is unnecessary, Daniel Jackson. I raise."

With that, Teal'c took off a sock and stood.

"Uh, Teal'c?" Cameron questioned, his voice full of worry. "What are you doing?"

Teal'c merely nodded, eyeing Sam and Vala's expressions all the while, as he moved his hands to his pants and pulled them off. Moving his attention, and the attention of everyone else, to his boxers, Teal'c smiled once more.

"I believe this is considered 'all in'."

Sam gulped, the guys groaned and Vala nearly cheered: "Indeed!"


End file.
